My Pregnancy & Baby Madelyn

Maddy Update - 1 month

Sat, 17 Mar 2007 02:16:37 GMT

It has been awhile since I’ve posted an update. I didn’t realize how much time it would take to care for an infant. In a lot of ways I feel like I get very little accomplished during the day so it surprises me that I have little time for things like typing online. But the real time-consuming activity is breast-feeding. Maddy is a wonderful eater, meaning she feeds every 1-2 hours. And that’s from the start of the feeding. So if she feeds for 20 minutes beginning at 8am, she is ready to eat again at 9am. Or if she feeds for 30-40 minutes at 8am, she is ready to eat again by 10am. In between that time she also needs to be changed and burped which can take 5-15 minutes. Therefore, it sometimes feels like all I do is feed/change/burp her and in between that, I’m working on getting her to sleep so I can put her down. And Maddy loves to be held, so sometimes I only get 5 minutes before she starts fussing again to be picked up or consoled. We are working at getting her to stay down longer, but it is a slow process. Not that we are in a rush, Maddy is only 1 month old and we know that she needs lots of love, cuddling, holding to feel safe. You can’t spoil an infant so there is no “she needs to learn to…” yet. It is strange though how my schedule has changed. A typical weekday is as follows:

7am – alarm goes off, get John up for work.
8am-9am – Feeding, burp, diaper change
9am – back to sleep with baby
10am-11:30am – Feeding, burp, diaper change, baby dressed for day; grab a quick bowl of cereal
11:30am-12pm – Baby down so I can take a quick shower and some light clean-up upstairs
12pm-1pm – Feeding, burp, diaper change, spending time with Maddy if awake
1pm-1:30pm – Quick lunch
2pm – John is home from work, after baby feeds, etc. pass over to John
2pm-3pm – Clean up kitchen/stuff around house, get on computer to check email, pay bills, etc. or run out for quick errand
3pm-4pm – Take Maddy for a walk or take turns with John holding/spending time with her
4pm-6pm - John begins his work from home, after feeding, Maddy and I take a nap
6pm-8pm – Feeding, diaper change, etc. Make a quick dinner for self and/or John
8pm-10pm – Feeding, watch TV or movie
10pm-12am – Feeding, pass her over to John; laundry, clean-up around house, get ready for bed, light exercises
12am-1am – Feeding, diaper change, put her in her PJ’s
1am – Maddy is down, to bed for John and I
2-3am – Feeding, diaper change
5-6am – Feeding, diaper change

Honestly, I love every moment even though it is so different from my life before. I wonder how much I’m going to accomplish once I start working from home (in 2 weeks) and how I will juggle life once I’m back at work full-time in May. Not going to think about those things right now!

Madelyn is still doing great! She was 8 lbs. 6 oz. at her 1 month appt, 21” long – 50-75 percentile for her age so just perfect. She is still a good baby overall. She does have some nights of bad gas, but a lot of it is when I’ve eaten something that isn’t sitting well with her. Slowly I’ve been eliminating foods that we’ve determined are affecting her and it seems to be decreasing. When she is having a bad bout, there isn’t much we can do but try and console her while it passes through her system. It breaks my heart to see her in pain and that is the hardest part.

John is still a great dad, he does such a good job taking care of Maddy and a huge help to me. It is wonderful that he loves and cares for her so well – she is one lucky girl to have such doting parents! We love to see the changes she makes – each day she seems to grow or change and we already see development changes. We know this year she will change a lot so we try and relish each moment. Of course she is well photographed and video taped so we don’t miss anything! We just love her so much and are so blessed to have her!

Maddy's Birthday Ticker

Sat, 03 Mar 2007 02:06:19 GMT

Maddy Update!

Mon, 26 Feb 2007 22:01:17 GMT

It has been just over a week since Madelyn came home from the hospital and in 2 days, she will be 2 weeks old – on her EDD! It is hard to believe she has been in my life such a short period because I feel like nothing matters in this world except her and John. I am amazed about the amount of love that I have for her – it’s nothing like anything I have experienced before. I remember spending time with her in the hospital, on Thursday morning after I had been moved to the maternity ward and it was just her and me in the room. I had only spent a short time with her the previous day and no time just the two of us. She was a stranger to me and I couldn’t grasp that she had come from my body and that she was my daughter. Of course as I did spend more time with her, that changed. Now I can’t get enough of her – I could stare at her for hours, just holding her little hands, kissing her adorable feet and tummy, stroking her head. I adore her little facial expressions she makes – so much like her father and probably me too! I can’t get enough of them or her. And when she is awake, her beautiful eyes are just so intense, I love making eye contact with her. I would like to think she realizes I am her mother, but it doesn’t matter either way because she is just so beautiful to look at. Her eyes are currently a very deep blue, almost slate in color. I would love it if they stayed blue, but I think they will be brown like her daddy’s eyes, which works as well.

So other than adoring every sweet aspect of my baby, she is doing great! I really feel that we have been blessed with a good baby – she sleeps almost all the time, sometimes barely awake even for feedings. She fusses a bit when we change her and she’s not crazy about bath time, but nothing that isn’t just adorable overall. One night last week, she had a terrible night and we were able to experience the full extent of her voice. She was obviously trying to pass something and we believe gas was the culprit. We could tell she was so uncomfortable, maybe in pain. It was heart wrenching to see her suffering and not able to make it better. Of course, I felt responsible since she’s exclusively on breast milk and I’m guessing the gas was caused by something I ate. We are trying to keep my diet as bland as possible; I don’t want her to suffer through that again. Other than that, she has been a dream. She sleeps with Mommy at night, which is wonderful for both of us. She definitely likes to be held and John and I feel that it’s important to be as close to her as possible, as much as possible. So if that means she sleeps with use for the first few months, so be it. You can’t spoil an infant.

Feeding is also going well. She pretty much eats every 2-3 hours, sometimes with us waking her up to feed. She has really grasped breastfeeding, which makes me very happy. And the nice thing is that she’ll take the milk from the breast or the bottle, probably due to our hospital training. I have pumped some extra milk so it’s nice to know we have options there. I’m glad the breast milk is working out. I think it’s so helpful for her development – we want her to be healthy and strong! Already John and I have noticed that she is feeling heavier. It will be interesting to hear her weight at her 2-week appointment on Wednesday. She very well could be 7 lbs. by then. We want to fatten her up considering how little she was when she was born and the small challenges she has had. Her hematoma is about gone as are most of the scabs from the internal monitor. And of course, we found out at her 1-week appointment that her jaundice/bilirubin is almost nonexistent.

So the biggest challenge ahead for the next week is that John goes back to work tomorrow so it will just be Maddy and me. Since I’m technically not supposed to go up and down the stairs and the fact that she’s used to being held almost 24/7, it will be a little harder to get things done. It will be a good opportunity to get her used to being put down in the bassinet or bouncy seat more. Right now, she’ll tolerate 10-15 minutes, and then will cry until picked up. Also, I hope to start using the Snugli or Baby Bjorn soon, that way she’ll be “held”, but I’ll have my arms/hands free. Just want her to be a little bigger.

I am healing well, took the last of the Percaset today and only a few more days of the Ibuprofen and blood pressure medicine. I think I’ll be fine off the pain meds. Working on some light “exercises” suggested by the hospital. The biggest thing I’m working on is my posture and using my stomach muscles again, which helps my back. The breast-feeding definitely seems to be helping take off the weight, I haven’t gotten on the scale yet, but you can see a noticeable different in my size. I will be happy when my uterus shrinks back down to it’s original size, but I’m in no rush. Since I am just hanging around the house in sweats, it doesn’t really matter any way.

Labor & Delivery Journal

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:43:40 GMT

Tuesday
-7:00am - L&D ward was full when I arrived for my scheduled induction because DC was about to be hit with a terrible ice/snow storm so had to wait to be admitted. Placed in a temporary room down the hall, and John and I try and relax and be patient.

-8:30am – Finally moved to a L&D room which is where I will say until baby arrives.

-9:30am - Dr. Cobbs arrives to check me, cervix was still at 1cm (as it was the previous week), but I am now 100% effaced.

-10:30am – Nurse Rebecca arrives to complete paperwork, history, etc., draw blood and start an IV with antibiotics (for positive GBS), Pitocin and saline solution. We immediately hit it off. She will be my nurse for most of the day.

-12pm – Dr. Cobbs is back, BP is still high and blood work showed my liver enzymes are up which means I could have seizures so they add Magnesium to the mix of liquids going into my IV. Side effects of Magnesium is that I will feel very warm and probably have nausea and vomiting, but it won’t affect the baby. Also I may retain water so they add a catheter to monitor my urine output.

Around this time I start feeling the contractions more from the Pitocin, but overall they are fairly light. BP is auto checked every 15 minutes and they machine goes off beeping every time it is high, which is about every reading. I start listening to my “L&D” mix on my iPod to not think/worry about stuff.

~ 2:30pm, decide to get Epidural because the catheter is uncomfortable and because I’m eventually going to have one. Both Dr. Cobbs and the nurses say it won’t interfere (slow down) the contractions as I have been told. Anesthesiologist arrives and he is very business-like and unfriendly (the first person that is like this at the hospital). When he adds the medicine, I pass out and wake up on my back with John and Rebecca trying to bring me back. I also start having nausea and vomit a few times. Not feeling so great, but definitely feel better after getting sick.

3:30pm – Dr. Cobbs breaks my water to get the contractions moving.

5pm – Feeling the contractions more and John is helping with my breathing, helping me through them. The contractions are mainly felt on my right side so we decide to switch sides and add a “boost” to the epidural. The combo does not go well and my BP drops down to 72/41 and I pass out again. This time 5-6 nurses/staff poor into the room and everyone is working on a different part of me. I am semi-aware of what is going on, but not able to communicate or really concentrate on what is happening. John is instructed to put on scrubs in case they need to rush me in for an emergency C-section. All I can really remember is seeing John with the paper hat on this head and thinking how silly he looks, but I’m not able to even smile. He is terrified, but keeping a strong front for me. An oxygen mask is placed on my face, which will stay on throughout the rest of labor. An internal monitor is added to watch the baby’s BP. Eventually all is stabilized once again.

~ 6pm – My cervix is checked again and have dilated from 1-4cm so finally some progress.

7:30pm – Nurse Rebecca is off shift and Leah shows up – I had met her a few weeks ago when I had been admitted to the hospital the first time with high blood pressure. She is very sweet and I am glad she is with me. Another boost is added to Epidural since it is starting to run out.

9pm – Dr. Caskie checks my cervix and I have gone from 4cm-10cm – yay! They start prepping me for the pushing portion. Because I’m still having nausea/vomiting, they step back the Magnesium (which can actually slow the contractions, as well).

9:30pm – Pushing begins, everyone says it could take 20 minutes or 2 hours. We’re wondering if baby will arrive before Valentine’s Day begins as midnight. I’m confident s/he will. Every time I have a contraction, I do 3 sets of pushing for 10 seconds each. John has my right leg and my mom and Leah take turns with my left leg. Because the Magnesium, my contractions are not as strong or close together as they typically would be for someone else in my position so there is easily 3-4 minutes wait between each contraction, which makes things go a little slower. On one hand, this is good because it gives me a chance to catch my breath/rest between the sets, but also makes the process very slow.

11:30pm - After 2 hours of pushing, I am utterly exhausted. John and Mom were able to see the baby’s head a few times, but s/he is having trouble making it past my pubic bone. In some ways it is encouraging that I know Baby is there and ready to come out, but I’m also just getting very tired (only 3 hours of sleep the previous night and I didn’t get any sleep at the hospital during the day) and am starting to get frustrated that there isn’t more progress.

Midnight – Dr. Caskie arrives. I tell her I can’t do it anymore and I want her to get the baby out. I have been pushing for 2 ½ hours. I am in a state of exhaustion and would cry if I had any energy left. She suggests using the vacuum to help pull the baby out. She says if we do the vacuum and it doesn’t work, I will need a C-section since you can’t put the baby through the trauma of trying the vacuum and then switching back to regular pushing. I agree to the vacuum, I’m feeling desperate, but hopeful.

12:50am – Have tried for almost an hour with vacuum and have not made much more progress. Even had an episiotomy to help. The suction cups have popped off several times and baby just can’t get around my pubic bone. We decide to do a C-Section. I’m disappointed in many ways, but also so physically and mentally spent, I know this the right thing to do. I just want to get the baby out before anything can happen.

1am – Wheeled into OR and prepped for C-Section. John comes into room after 10 or so minutes. Stronger medicine is put into Epidural, but I am able to feel things on my right side when they start work. John lets them know and even more medicine is added. I feel pressure when the pull the baby out, but no pain.

1:27am – Baby arrives – it’s a girl! Madelyn Ruth Mills, 6 lbs, 10 oz, 19 ¾ inches. I see her briefly as they take her from my belly to the table to work on her. She is beautiful, I can tell, I see her little eyes. John goes to be with her. I silently cry as they finish removing the placenta, stitching me back up etc. I am so happy that the baby has arrived and she seems okay. Her Apgar score is 7 (out of 10) after 1 minute and then 9 after 5 minutes. She is so strong and I love her so much already!

Wednesday - Because of the C-Section, I only get to kiss my baby for a few seconds before they have to take her away. I do not see her again until the morning around 8am. I do not sleep much for the rest of the night. Despite all the trauma of her delivery, she is pretty much perfect. She has a hematoma in her head (which is like a pooling of blood) from the vacuum and some scabs/marks from the internal monitor,, but they will heal. She has to have a Cat scan to ensure there is no damage to her skull and there is not. I am kept in L&D because I need to stay on the Magnesium for one more day. Epidural and catheter remain in, and I’m not able to leave my bed. I do not get to spend much time with Maddy this day because of the tests. She must be bottle-fed because I have the Magnesium and the pediatrician says I cannot breast-feed while on this medicine. I’m a little disappointed, but understand. I am able to eat some jello, sorbet and juice – first “food” since 6am Tuesday.

Thursday – In the middle of the night they remove the epidural, Magnesium and saline from the IV. I get up to use the bathroom for the first time in 2 days. I am moved to the maternity ward at 6:30am.

Madelyn is brought to my room finally that morning and I’m able to hold her for a bit. The nurse helps me breast-feed a little bit. It goes okay, but I have to stop because she has developed some jaundice and must be placed under special lights in an incubator. The lights will help flush the toxins from her system. Since she can only be out of her box for limited periods, she is mostly bottle-fed again since we are still learning the art of breast-feeding.

My feet look like balloons from all the saline, so it is very normal. Will take about a week for the fluids to be flushed out of my system. I keeping drinking water pretty much non-stop to help stimulate things. I am able to start solid foods – yay! Menu selection is pretty good and the food tastes pretty good. Now that I’m off the Epidural, I take Percacet every 4-6 hours and 600 mg of Ibuprofin every 6 hours for the pain. Also on high blood pressure pills – all are okay to take while breast feeding. I have about 8 staples right above my pubic bone from the C-section and stitches from the episiotomy. Both are pretty painful, but I’m taking it pretty easy. Able to take a shower for the first time in 2 days with Mom’s help. Oh the simple pleasures in life!

Friday – Maddy’s jaundice levels are back to normal and she is able to spend all day in my room. Breast-feeding is a little frustrating for both of us. Since my milk has not arrived, I decide to let her be mostly bottle-fed and try the breast every so often. I want to make sure she eats as much as possible to help remove any left-over jaundice. Also, don’t want her to lose too much weight. She has dropped a few ounces, which is normal, but because she is so small, I know it’s more important that she get food into her then learn breast-feeding. John and I have a special “celebration” dinner, provided by the hospital – includes sparkling cider, and our dinners are served on china. It is our first dinner as a family (Maddy is there with us).

Saturday – Things are going really well. My breasts have swollen so I know milk is on it’s way. I start pumping to stimulate things and Madelyn is able to drink my milk through a bottle. Everything is “normal” with Maddy and me. We will be able to leave the hospital tomorrow and I can’t wait…going a little stir crazy in our crowded little room and anxious to get her home.

Sunday – We are on breast milk full time now, mostly me pumping and giving it to her in a bottle since that’s easier on her. Once my milk comes in fully, it will run out easier so she doesn’t have to work so hard to get it. We get the okay to leave from both my doctor and the pediatrician – yay, we are finally going home!

It's a Girl!

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 03:42:12 GMT

Introducing Madelyn Ruth Mills, born Valentine's Day, 2/14/07, 1:27am, 6 lbs., 11 oz, 19 3/4 inches long!

Last Prego Picture

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 22:13:29 GMT

Tomorrow Baby arrives! Here is the last pregnant picture of me (just shy of 38 weeks) before s/he arrives!

A Letter to my Baby

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 02:44:07 GMT

Dear Baby Mills, Friday, February 09, 2007

It is hard to believe but the day is drawing near that you will be arriving into this world. It seems like so long ago now when I think back to when I found out I was pregnant with you. I remember thinking February seemed so far off then, and now it is here! So, I guess time has “flown” in both directions. Your father and I talked a long time before we decided we were ready to conceive you. And then after we made that decision, it took a little longer than we both expected, but that’s okay because I know that you were waiting for the right moment to be conceived. It gave us a chance to run a marathon and for me to start a new job and get settled. I remember just a few days after we conceived you…it felt different this time, but I also didn’t want to get my hopes up (and then dashed) in case I was wrong. I flew to Las Vegas for a business trip and remember I started crying when I was watching this movie called 8 Below (it was about dogs). I remember how I couldn’t control my emotions – that was all you! On that flight I also met John Kerry, so that was your first “celebrity” meeting. I am sure there will be many more in your lifetime, if you are like me, I have been fortunate to meet a fair share of famous people and I know you will carry on that tradition.

So after Vegas and a trip to Michigan with your father that was one of the best ever, we got back and I knew something was up. A few days later I took a home test and sure enough, it showed up positive almost immediately (no waiting for 3 minutes like everyone else). You were already so strong! And you have grown and developed just perfectly. I hope I cared for you well as you have developed in my womb. I have tried real hard to provide the best environment by eating right, keeping up with the exercise and generally taking care of myself. It was harder than I thought it was going to be at some points, but every moment has been worth it. Even when I felt that I wasn’t going to be able to keep “doing this” I knew I would stick it out until the time was right for your entrance. What a surprise it was to learn that you would be coming into the world earlier than planned. I was so sure you were going to be late, a March baby. Now you are scheduled to be brought into the world early, by medical intervention, 2 weeks before your due date. I hope you are okay with this and ready to come into the world. I feel like you have grown strong and are ready to leave your cramped quarters. I know my body has started preparing you for your exit; I feel the contractions and cramping and know that your journey outward has begun. I hope the final stages, on Tuesday, will not be traumatic and you will come easily and quickly. Your father and I cannot wait to gaze into your eyes and hold you in our arms. We have stroked you through my belly, but I’m not sure if it will be quite the same for you as to actually feel us holding you. I know you will recognize our voices; your daddy has loved talking to you already. He has read poetry and Shakespeare to you already. I know he also can’t wait to share a Star Wars movie with you when you arrive, something that he loves so much. Hopefully it will calm you as it does him.

I have enjoyed these months where it has just been you and me. I think it’s funny how everyone has guessed your sex based on looking at me. I have carried you for 9 months and I still don’t know if you are going to be a boy or a girl. I will love you so much either way. I just want you to be healthy and happy. It has been special for me to feel you moving and kicking and hiccupping inside. I feel like it has been a special bond between mother and child. When you come into the world you will be held and cared for by so many others, I will just be one of many. That is why I have cherished our time together, just the two of us. You are so lucky to be loved and cared for by so many people already. There is a huge list of people waiting to hear of your arrival! Never forget that love. Life can be tough and sometimes we feel very alone, but always remember how many people care for you, unconditionally.

The upcoming weeks, months and years are going to be hard, for both of us. But there is also going to be a great deal of happiness. I promise to do whatever I can to make your life as joyful and fun as mine was growing up. I will do what I can to raise you to be smart, kind, giving, hard-working, honest, loving…an overall good person to society. Your father and I will make mistakes, we aren’t perfect and we are human too, but we will always do what we think is best for you, to lead you in a life that is fulfilling and significant. We will always love you and support you. We will take you on many adventures and share our life lessons to help you appreciate the world and life as we both do. We will always be there for you when you need us…always.

I love you so much, Baby! Never doubt my love for you. I can’t wait to meet you Tuesday!

Love, Mom

Week 37 Update - My last week of pregnancy

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 22:38:03 GMT

So I’ve been on BR for a week now and I’m still alive! It has been somewhat challenging, some days are easier than others. If I’m busy enough and the day goes quickly, it’s not bad. Other days I have fallen into a sort of depressive funk with lots of crying and feeling very alone. It is hard to be home all day by myself and not able to do much more than read, watch TV or get on the laptop. And I’m trying to limit my time on the laptop since I tend to feel better (my head/BP) if I’m lying down versus sitting up. The good news has been that the swelling in my feet is virtually gone and my hands/fingers are better, though my fingers still feel numb and my thumb still feels like a jammed it. Hopefully those will go away after the birth. And, I even lost 2 lbs between last week and this week’s appt which is good. I guess that is fairly common in the last month. And the best news…there is an end in sight and that will result in the birth of our baby!

I had my week 37 OB appt and it was basically a repeat of last week…BP still up, tests okay, BR seems to be working. We scheduled an induction for next Tuesday, Feb. 13. I feel good about this decision. That will make Baby 38 weeks, allowing the baby to bake a little longer. It has me on BR for 1 more week so I’m only losing 2 weeks of my precious maternity leave. Plus now we know the date and my parents can plan their trip up accordingly from FL. It allows my mom the opportunity to be at the birth if she wants to. I’m not sure if I’m totally on board with that, but I think she would really like to be there and this would allow it to happen. She is going to talk it over with dad and they will decide. Otherwise, it’s just me and DH!

Of course I continue to have contractions and I’m feeling them a little more now, though they don’t hurt or anything. I have dilated just over 1 cm. and I’m 80% effaced. Both are good. It would be great if Baby decided to come on his/her own early (before next week). I know John is a little nervous about being induced; his co-workers have shared some horror stories so I know he’s a little freaked out. But I really think it’s going to be okay, so many births are induced these days and it will be a vaginal birth. If I went from 60 to 80% effaced in 1 week, chances are I’ll be 100% effaced and a little more dilated by next week, so at least on my way with a “natural” birth and just a little help needed medically. Pitocin is a synthetic drug that mimics what your body naturally produces, so it really shouldn’t be too much of a difference.

So, all is good and we are in the home stretch. It is my last week of lots of sleep! It’s my last week to do my final baby readings/preparations. It’s my last week of just DH and me (lots of snuggling is due, plus lots of attention toward the cats). I’m very ready and very excited. We can’t wait to welcome our baby into the world and our lives!

PS...John got his Black Belt Saturday -- I'm so happy for him and proud of this amazing accomplishment. I was not able to attend the test, but everyone says he did an awesome job and totally deserved to pass. I love him so much!

Bed Rest - Day 3

Fri, 02 Feb 2007 20:48:08 GMT

So, I'm on bed rest, day 3. It's not as fun as one would imagine, although I am getting an incredible amount of sleep, which isn't all bad. I guess I will enjoy that before baby arrives. My BP is up when I sit up, stand or walk around so I'm on BR until the little one arrives...officially on maternity leave. From my appt Thursday, we expect the baby to arrive sometime between week 37 and week 38 (next Tues and the following Tues), most likely by induction. Not exactly how we planned things, but who has their L&D ever go as planned anyway? Good news is that baby seems to be well, still very active. I'm hoping s/he is doing a lot of baking over the weekend because now that I'm done with work officially, I can't wait for him/her to arrive. John's black belt test is tomorrow and I feel terrible because he has had to do so much for me and around the house that it is taking away from him just being able to concentrate on that big event. It's frustrating for me that I can't do anything. But that is that and we are both dealing with it. Ultimately it is all about baby at this point and his/her safe arrival. So we wait. And I sleep. And I lay in bed, or on the couch. Every once and awhile I prop myself up on the bed and eat or type on the laptop (like now). That's my existance for awhile. Here's to baby baking!!!

An Unexpected Development

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 20:27:24 GMT

Yesterday I went to my OB at 9am for my (now) weekly appt. – 36 weeks. Like the last few times, my blood pressure measured at 120/80. When I met with my doctor, she did an internal exam and said the baby is about 1 cm. dilated and my cervix is 60% effaced, which is good because it was 50% last appt (2 weeks ago). Baby’s head is still down and heartbeat sounded good. My GBC test came back positive which means I will be on IV antibiotics when in labor so I don’t pass along an infection to the baby when s/he travels through the birth canal. All women have bacteria in their vagina and about 30% have a positive GBC during pregnancy which requires the antibiotics. In non-pregnant women it is not treated since it doesn’t affect the mother. Long of the short, it’s not a big deal at all.

So as we’re wrapping up she mentioned that my BP was up again and wanted to have it re-taken to see if it came down like it had at my previous appt. Unfortunately this time it was still at 120/80 when they retook it, even after laying down. So, my dr says she wants to send me to the specialist (who did our ultrasounds) over at the hospital for a stress test. She said my weight didn’t have a huge jump, which is a good sign, but wanted to have them take a look. So I head to Dr. McLaren’s office and after waiting for awhile the technician brings me into a room with a reclining chair. I’m hooked up to a machine that monitors the baby’s heartbeat and my contractions. As well as a blood pressure cuff that now reads my BP at 139/90. So, I lie on my side in this room, reading or resting my eyes for about an hour, listening to the baby’s heartbeat, which is very cool, I never get tired of that! After about an hour she comes back and my BP has risen a little more, but baby’s heartbeat, etc. seems to be fine.

Next I go to the ultrasound room and they do a brief ultrasound checking pockets of fluid – I’m not sure why, but she seemed to be happy with everything she saw. So now it’s about 12pm and I go back to the waiting room for the dr to look at the test results. He okays everything, but wants my OB to know the results before releasing me. So about another 30 minutes they talk to the dr and she says to send me to Labor & Delivery to meet with another dr in the practice. Am I a little freaked at this point? Yes. Part of me is unsure of what is exactly going on. Part of me is starving because I haven’t had anything to eat or drink since 8am! The technician explains that some women develop fetal hypertension when pregnant and there is no treatment other than getting the baby out. Apparently diet/exercise doesn’t matter at this point and that my BP will probably go back to normal after I have the baby.

So we walk up to L&D and Dr. Cobbs isn’t there, but they proceed to check me into a room. I’m told to change into a gown and get in bed. Again, I’m hooked up to the monitor measuring the baby’s heartbeat, my contractions and this time a BP cuff that auto measures me about every 15 minutes. They also come in to draw blood, urine sample and start me on an IV. Then I have to sign a whole bunch on consent forms and give a full medical history. As you can imagine, I was more than a little scared. And apparently my BP continued to go up. So they are doing what they can to get it down and proceed to put me down on my side, lights off, bed down. The reason they are so concerned about my BP is because it can cause stroke or heart problems for me and possibly affect the baby, so it really is fairly serious. I get a hold of John and he decides he’s going to come to the hospital.

Fast-forward 3 hours later, it’s about 3:30pm and we’re told my BP has come down enough that I’m able to go home (interesting, it didn’t really start dropping until John arrived). But I’m put on “strict” bed rest until further notice. Which means only getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. Showers are okay if I can do them quickly. No going up/down stairs, no driving (other than home from the hospital). Basically I can watch TV, work on the computer, etc. as long as it’s from the bed. I am to go back to my OB office tomorrow or Friday for follow-up. We are going tomorrow (Thursday) first-thing because I need to know where things stand. Also, I never got a chance to see any of my OB drs again, all this was communicated through the nurses. Fortunately, my blood/urine work came back good so it really is just my BP. I guess they figure when I’m laying down it seems to stay somewhat manageable, although it was over 120 when I left. From what the nurse said, it looks like I will probably be induced sometime between now and my due date. Because the baby is considered full term at 37 weeks – which is technically next Tuesday, if my BP does stay up they will want to get the baby out as quickly as possible and knowing it is safe to do so (and everything they tested with the baby is fine, which is such a relief).

So, we find out more tomorrow. Meanwhile, I’m laying in bed as much as possible, as instructed. John has been a super help so far, but I feel terrible because now he has to do EVERYTHING – cooking, waiting on me, laundry, etc. And as much as we are prepared for Baby, I still had a list of things to do that I’m not going to be able to do, John will have to. Which is fine, but the timing is terrible because his black belt test is Saturday and now I’m not even sure if I’m going to be able to see it. Plus this is all a distraction for him. It’s just bad, bad timing. But I know in the end the most important thing is that baby is healthy (and me too!), but it doesn’t make it really any easier. I am praying that my BP will drop down and I’ll be able to move off the strict bed rest enough that I can at least work from home and go to John’s test. We shall see!

The Final Countdown (Month)

Tue, 30 Jan 2007 02:24:18 GMT

Well, here we are in our final month --- the final 31 days as of yesterday. Here is the belly taken Sunday. I'm guessing I will continue to grow a bit more before Baby arrives. Right now, it is very crowded inside and I'm feeling mostly pushing versus kicks. I know the baby is starting to feel uncomfortable because of the way s/he is pushing. I just wonder how much more my skin can stretch, but it is possible.

It was funny this weekend because we had the installation for GWU Pi Phis so I was busy all day Saturday and Friday night with that. Of course, put a pregnant woman in a room with 170 other women and everyone has something to say about babies. I actually got tired of answering the questions if we know the sex and how I was feeling. It's funny because lately it seems more people are saying we're having a boy instead of a girl. I just think it's funny because both Beth (who had a boy) and Laurie (who had a girl) carried the same way, which is similar to how I'm carrying. Well, we'll just to have to wait for his/her arrival. Which of course I'm getting more and more excited about, although there are still a few things I want to get done with work and preparing for baby before s/he comes. John is convinced the baby will arrive early. I say 3 days late (March 3). We shall see! Just trying to stay busy without exhausting myself so the time goes fast. Had dinner with 7 Hyatt girls last night and it was very sweet because they got me a Babies R Us gift card and paid for my dinner which was completely unexpected. Everyone has just been so nice and so generous. I feel so loved! This baby is so lucky to be coming into a world of such loving, giving friends and family!

What I Love and Dislike About Pregnancy

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 22:54:06 GMT

Things I could do without:
1. Swollen hands, numb fingers - even pushing on the toothpaste tube hurts.
2. Swollen feet, swollen face - can I wear anything other than Tevas and Birkenstocks in the dead of winter?! And really, my face is huge as it is, can my chipmunk cheeks get any bigger?!
3. Cankles - disgusting!
4. Sore lower back - which has now turned into a constant ache anytime I move from laying to sitting, sitting to standing, etc.
5. First trimester nausea - Morning sickness? Needs to be changed to All-Day Sickness!
6. Snoring - which has driven DH from our bed to the guest room permanently until Baby Mills arrives. At least Boo can stand it and has taken to being my sleeping partner.
7. Breathing troubles - my voice wavers and I'm out of breath after speaking 2-3 sentences. Guess this is reason enough to keep my big mouth shut!
8. Innie belly button that is now a Way-Outie - can I just say gross! Oh, and it hurts when you touch it.
9. Sleeping - I am a back sleeper, learning to sleep on my side -- the left side only! -- is not as easy as one would think regardless of the number of pillows I have surrounding me.
10. Fear that something is wrong with baby/that I'm going to do something to hurt the baby - The first 12 weeks were hell, the rest has been better, but between the endless tests, the doctors concerns, and reading way too many pregnancy books, you feel that you shouldn't even move lest you do something that could hurt your baby.

On the plus side:
1. Feeling the baby move -- there is nothing like it, especially knowing it's a human in there!
2. Guilt-free eating - How often do you get to eat more than your husband for dinner without feeling like a pig? And another cookie...well I'm pregnant, of course it's okay!
3. How nice people are when pregnant - it helps on those rough days to see smiles on strangers' faces and to have your co-workers so attentive and kind to you. I'm sure it will be back-to-reality not too long after baby arrives so I'm definitely enjoying this one.
4. Being this close to my child - it will never be just me and Baby again. It will be a memory I carry through a lifetime as I watch him/her grow.
5. Belly growth - while sometimes I feel like a cow, it is amazing to see my belly grow. The human body never ceases to amaze me.
6. Pregnancy glow - I have had it, and what a better time than the dull winter to look fresh and bright, naturally.
7. Special attention from hubby - Ya gotta love that whenever I say "can you rub my back/feet/hands" that John doesn't even roll his eyes. And having someone volunteer to make dinner/do the laundry/carry the groceries, has been wonderful.
8. Relinquishing cat liter box duty - need I say more?
9. Baby clothes - Not only do you get showered with a gazillion gifts as soon as you mention you are pregnant, you get to buy the cutest baby outfits and envision your little one in it. Adorable.
10. Knowing I am bringing a child into the world that is half me and half my dear husband - I can't think of a better way to celebrate our love for one another.

Showered with Love

Mon, 22 Jan 2007 21:44:42 GMT

Yesterday was my first baby shower. It was at SIL Beth's house and hosted by Beth, Beth's mom and my friend Stephanie. It was a small group of family from John's side (and Stephanie) and it was just wonderful! The food was so good -- Lynne made homemade quiche that was so tasty, plus their was yummy salad, fruit, potatoes, ham, cheese and olives -- I was in heaven. The cake came from my favorite bakery, Heidelberg and their were yummy brownies too. I ate so much, but everything was so delicious. It was also great to have a small group because I got to spend time with each person and didn't feel that "running around" when there are too many guests. We got our first snow too, so it made for a beautiful back drop (baby experiencing his/her first snow from the belly!). I got to see and hold my wiggly little nephew who is up to 16 lbs at just 3 months (!) and my cousin's daughter who is about 7 mos. Both are so adorable, it was fun to see and talk about babies all afternoon. I am so appreciative that John's extended family has taken me in considering I have no family here on my side. Everyone is so nice and they were so generous with their good wishes and gifts. We got almost everything we need from our registry. I feel so blessed and loved by these people. Wednesday, work is also having a shower for me, which I am sure will also be quite special. Everyone has been so nice to me! Of course I wish some of my best girlfriends (besides Steph) lived in the area so I could celebrate with them, but I know they are sending good thoughts across the miles. Baby Mills is already so loved and taken care of, s/he is blessed to be welcomed into such a warm, loving family!

Week 34 Belly Pic

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 01:59:11 GMT

Only 6 more weeks! We thought this was a cute picture because it shows Boo looking at my enormous belly. And those of you curious to see what has happened to my tattoo...

The old man is snoring

Tue, 16 Jan 2007 22:27:34 GMT

Who would have ever thought that I would become a snorer. All my life I have been a light sleeper that could never sleep through other people's snoring. I have even been known to wear earplugs. John will snore every once and awhile, but I have learned to sleep through it. Well, the tables have turned. Not only do I snore, but I snore so loud that:
1. John has heard me snoring from one level below our bedroom, WITH the TV on.
2. Our cats stare at my head when my snoring gets too loud and have been known to leave the bed in disgust.
3. I have woken myself up from the loud sounds coming from my body.
4. My dear husband has tried ear plugs, but is still woken my my snores.
5. And after many tries, he has pretty much decided to sleep in the guest room full-time because he can't make it through the night.

So, I'm hoping that this is all due to my weight gain (about 25 pounds) and the baby. How embarrassing to become such a world-class snorer! How bad I feel to have driven my husband from the bed -- this is the same man who will sleep through the telephone ringing and the alarm clock blaring in the morning! Oh, and what does Baby think of these noises coming into his/her womb? Well, I suppose s/he has no choice but to get used to it. I am not able to feel kicks or movement while sleeping, so who knows!

I had my OB appointment this morning and all is well with baby. Heartbeat was in 120's-130's so pretty low, but all was good. My blood pressure was up again, but they re-took it later and it was back to normal, which is good. Guess the stress of driving in the DC area will do that :) They did the GBC culture to see if I will need IV antibiotics when giving birth, so I'll find out next time. Baby's head is still down, which is good, but dr said s/he has until week 37 to misbehave and flip around :) How cute. Wouldn't surprise me, this little one kicks so much, but hopefully s/he'll cooperate and stay down. So, everything is good with me and baby! Oh, best news is that I only gained 1 lb from last time. No more lectures from the OB lately which makes me very happy.

Busy, busy, busy with work these days. Weekend schedule of activities is about to pick up too with a bunch of family functions I can't miss. Trying to keep the energy level up. Oh, and Boo seems to be in the early stages of kidney disease, but doesn't need treatment at this time, thank goodness. She's just getting old and we need to be aware of that. Poor little girl. I'll try and post a new picture tomorrow for 34 weeks!

My Girl

Thu, 11 Jan 2007 01:57:15 GMT

Today has been one of those days. Well, it started a few days ago when Boo, our oldest cat, started getting sick on a regular basis. I took her to the vet and they did a full "workup" on her, including drawing a large amount of blood and giving her a bag of fluids. She got pulled off her antibiotics (from the skin infection she had around X-Mas) and was told no food or water until the morning. SInce then she has continued to vomit. And it looks like she might have kidney disease. I say "might" because it's unclear and she will probably need more tests and possibly more fluids by IV so she doesn't dehydrate. This has been so hard on both John and I, Boo is like our daughter and it pains me to see her not well. Of course it also reminds me of my dog Daisy that I adopted a few years after college. She had cancer and had to have surgery and eventually had to be put down. Well, I'm trying to remain positive until we know more.

Speaking of girl, everyone lately seems to think we're having a girl. And if it is a girl, she is definitely growing. My belly has a sort of permanent ache now, I think because the skin is stretching so much. And of course, the baby is pushing so hard now. I guess it's getting crowded inside now.

Work was a little trying today. Nothing I want to go in detail about, but it does add a little more stress considering these other outside issues. I actually broke down in my boss's office today when she asked if everything was okay. Oh, and last night I had a dream that I went into labor early (at 33 weeks -- today) and everyone at the hospital was ignoring me and they made John leave and move his car, and I was left alone and I was all upset because I hadn't packed my hospital bag and no one cared that I was going into labor early (technically before 37 weeks). All these things have been riding on my mind today and I guess I shall chalk it up to one of those bad days and know that tomorrow will be better. I think I will go to bed to just put this all behind me. Hopefully I'll have better news to share on my next post!

Week 32

Fri, 05 Jan 2007 00:49:56 GMT

This is a new picture of momma at 32 weeks -- only 8 more to go! One other new side effect, which some may find interesting. Snoring. I now snore like a sailor. Or a very large, fat person. I guess it's the added weight. Poor John, he actually had to leave bed last night because it was so loud. And I've actually woken myself up from it too! My voice has also started to change...it's become shaky all the time. And I'm constantly out of breath so whenever I'm talking to people they either think I'm sick or that I just got finished running. I'm a little nervous because I'm supposed to have a conference call with our exhibitors in 2 weeks and I have to talk for about 15 minutes so I know I'm going to sound strange. I guess I might have to explain briefly that I'm pregnant and that's why I sound strange!

I forgot to provide an update from my OB appointment Tuesday...baby is still healthy, heartbeat was very strong, but she didn't tell me how fast. Head is down so that is good. Fundal size at 31.5, so right on target. My blood pressure was still up (120), but no one seems to be worried so I'm not going to either!

I have enjoyed being pregnant, but it is definitely becoming more challenging as you may have noticed from my last few posts. So many women say how much they loved being PG and miss it. I can understand that, it's really the last time it will just be me and baby, and I'll never have this connection to him/her again. But, I am definitely feeling a little more uncomfortable and of course, very excited to meet this little human! Well, 8 more weeks for baby-baking and then we'll all be ready!

A New Year

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 01:04:41 GMT

Welcome 2007! I have such high hopes for the year, the year our baby will come into the world. It is hard to believe in a lot of ways that 2007 has arrived, it seemed so far off when I found out last summer I was pregnant. But now, we are 8 weeks away from meeting Baby Mills! My body has definitely taken a turn the last few weeks. First, exhaustion. When I've been off, I've been taking 2 hour naps. When working, coming home and napping on the couch for at least 30 minutes. And this is on top of my 8-9 hours I get each night. Wow, not sure how I'm going to get through the next weeks. My hands are no longer just swollen, the fingers are constantly numb. Dr says this is normal, but what a strange feeling. Of course they still fall "asleep" at night and I wake up feeling like I've got clothes pins on my fingers. Nice. Baby has moved into the pushing stage -- not just kicking, but shoving on my belly. Katey said it the other day...it feels like an alien in my stomach. It is interesting to watch my bare belly to see the strange movements under my skin. Very strange, yet cool, but also very uncomfortable. A few times the kicks have gotten under my ribs and boy is that unpleasant! The feet swelling has continued, but hasn't gotten any worse, thankfully. And just my size, I feel uncomfortable overall. Sleep has gotten more challenging, especially trying to find a comfortable position and my back aches a lot. Yesterday I put away the majority of the X-Mas decorations and I was just beat afterward. My back was so sore. I guess the moral of the story is that I can't do stuff like that anymore. Moderation, moderation, moderation. Thankfully I have the best husband in the world and John is always there to help me out. He even made meatloaf -- from a recipe -- for dinner last night (those of you who know John know that his signature dish is turkey burgers and sometimes grilling a pork loin on the grill...and that's about it :). I think it's wonderful that he is so willing to help out. And I need to do a better job of letting him.

Now that I've "killed Christmas" (as John calls it), we are ready to start the process of getting the baby's nursery set-up and ready. I am very excited to put the crib together, the swing, bouncy seat and we got a call that our glider is in, so that too. Well, John will put all those together, but I'm excited to see the nursery get finalized. I'm beginning to worry slightly about getting everything done/ready. I've had dreams that I leave the baby unattended or forget to do something for the baby. There is so much info/things to know about breast feeding, bathing and massaging the baby, dealing with crying, taking care of the umbilical cord/circumcision, etc. that I'm beginning to worry I won't remember everything. I'm about to stop reading all the books and magazines because of this, but I also want to get through as much as it as possible so I'm prepared as much as possible. Oh, the meeting planner in me!

Today's OB appointment went good -- baby is at 31.5, which is perfect. Baby is head down and heartbeat was good. Dr didn't say anything about my weight which is now up about 25 lbs since conception. Blood pressure was still at 120, but she didn't say anything so I'm not to worry. Looks like everything is going well which makes me so happy. I'm trying so hard to do everything right -- eating right, taking good care of baby. I just want him/her born healthy. What a blessing children are!!!

Last Christmas

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:56:58 GMT

We had a great Christmas weekend and I am sorry to be back at work. My parents were in town and it was very nice to hang out with them and just enjoy our time together. We didn't "do" a lot, but seemed to stay quite busy all weekend. Yesterday morning after I dropped them at the airport, I just felt exhausted and slept a great amount of the day. I think I'm chasing a little cold and the sleep has been helpful. Last night I got about 11 hours of sleep, as well. Otherwise, Baby is just making Mommy very tired. It was actually pretty nice to have it just be John and I opening our presents together Christmas morning. We took our time with the stockings and then our gifts so it didn't feel rushed or crazed. Since it was our last Christmas with just the two of us, it was important that we enjoyed the quiet moments, as well. After we opened gifts, we sat on the couch, snuggling with Johnny and feeling Baby kick away. I think Baby enjoyed X-Mas as s/he has been VERY active all weekend, especially after opening gifts X-Mas Eve with my parents and yesterday morning. Very cute.

We had a nice X-Mas dinner at Aunt Lourdes and Uncle John's house with Thomas and Beth, and Beth's parents last night. Little John has gotten so big -- he turned 2 months yesterday and he is just adorable with his chubby, chipmunk cheeks. It was really a special Christmas this year and I feel so blessed to have such wonderful family and friends in my life. We know our baby is going to make each year more special too.

John and I head to Charlottsville, VA this weekend for a 2-night getaway, our last vacation for just the 2 of us! I am looking forward to seeing Monticello and just being with my hubby. I know there will be very few weekends left where it's just the two of us. Oh how life is going to change when Baby arrives!

Week 30 belly picture

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 18:36:37 GMT

Week 30 Belly Pic

Week 30

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 21:47:25 GMT

Depending on who you talk to, today or tomorrow is when I hit Week 30. I follow the Wednesday date, but now my OB visits are every other Tuesday so go figure. Everything went fine at the dr this morning...no weight gain (yay!), baby heartbeat in 130's (so low again), fundal measurement at 29.50, so right on cue, blood pressure shot up to 120, but they didn't seem concerned. I am anemic so starting to take iron pills which should help with the energy level. They also messed up and the lab didn't draw or test for the glucose like they were supposed to at my last appointment, so I had the drink the orange Fanta-like drink again and wait an hour to have the blood re-drawn. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will pass. Shoot, I thought I had been in the clear. Oh well.

Baby continues to be very active. I am starting to feel the kicks under my ribs now and lots of pushing. I'm pretty sure the baby is head down because the kicks are high and the hiccups low :) Today I started feeling some pressure in my belly, could be Braxton Hicks or could just be gas. I'm not worried about either for now, we'll just monitor it and see if it changes/gets worse.

Last night I saw my first set of real cankles -- ankles that have swollen to the size of my calf. It is really gross. They were back down this morning, but I have a feeling this is just the beginning. I am drinking so much water I feel like I'm going to float away and I keep my feet up on my chair at work as much as possible. From what I've heard, I just might have to suffer through this the rest of my pregnancy. Oy! I do feel fortunate that these really are the worst things going on with me. Of course my crazy mood swings seem to be coming back in full tilt (oh 2nd trimester, how I miss you!). John has been very good putting up with my flood of tears and rants. I totally lost it with our cat Boo over the weekend. She was angry and got sick and pooed in several areas of our BR, including our bed. John wasn't home and I can't touch the stuff. I screamed at her like you wouldn't believe. She was a very bad cat and deserved it, but I was aware that I probably overreacted to the situation...she is a cat and all my yelling and crying did not affect her other than make her hide for the rest of the day. I have always been an emotional person so it is hard to let emotions just flow. I am sure the stress of the holiday season has not helped, we have been so, so busy.

Less than a week until X-mas and my parents arrive Thursday. So looking forward to seeing them, having them here. I am excited for my mom to feel the baby and of course, see me in all my big-belly glory. Will try and take some Week 30 pictures tonight after I finish my shopping :)

Childbirth Lessons

Fri, 15 Dec 2006 11:10:18 GMT

It's been a little while since I've written, but work has been so busy, and with all the holiday activities, shopping, and trying to still stay in shape (more on that later), I just have felt swamped. So it's 5:30am and I can't sleep so I thought this might be a good time for an update!

Last Saturday John and I had our all day childbirth class at the hospital. I think we were pretty fortunate because our instructor was really nice, funny and down-to-earth. And the other couples in the class were all "normal" meaning no one asked stupid questions and everyone was polite and....a lot like us! It was funny to hear that everyone knew what they were having except one other couple who peaked on the U/S so they think they know. I guess we really are unusual deciding to be surprised about the sex. It is funny though, because when we tell people we're waiting, most people say how neat it is. Of course I would like to know, but I am more excited to hear the dr make the big announcement when Baby comes into the world. It will be a moment I will never forget, I am sure.

So back to the class...it was from 9am-5:30pm so a long day, all told. We learned the basics of L&D and different signs/what to do. We reviewed pain medications and birthing options. We practiced some breathing techniques and gave each other massages :) Overall it was helpful, a lot of which I knew, but it was good to hear it discussed, especially from a L&D nurse herself who had been through a million childbirths. We also saw the L&D unit and were told what to do when we do go into labor, what to expect at the hospital, etc. And lastly, we watched a very "open" video showing 4 different types of births --- and showing it all. It was sort of funny to hear John going "Oh my god, that's disgusting" over and over, but I have to admit, I was cringing a few times myself. Being that I witnessed Wendy's birth, I remember how shocking it was at first, but I do remember when little Anna came into the world how the flood gates of tears opened and how amazing I felt witnessing such a beautiful moment. I can imagine that John will have similar emotions. Me, I won't have to see anything (and no, I don't plan to use a mirror). The human body never ceases to amaze me and since becoming pregnant, never more so than ever. But, there are just some things that I would rather not see and I hope that John can keep his focus on my face and only see Baby when s/he has exited the womb. Whatever happens, happens, and I know that all will be well, but if he doesn't have to see everything, the better :)

My biggest fears about labor is the pain. I would love to say I am going to go without drugs...who wouldn't feel that way? And I feel like I've been through amazing amounts of pain in the past...getting a tattoo was 2 hours of hell, stepping on a nail and having it lodged in my foot and becoming infected...that was a constant pain that lasted for several weeks. Labor is supposed to be these minutes of pain when you are having contractions that go away in between. So in that sense, it seems manageable. I remember when I was getting the tattoo, I mentally took myself away from that room and concentrated on being on a warm beach. They recommend similar techniques with the contractions, and of course the breathing and massage techniques that we learned about. My guess is I will be okay through the first 2 stages, but it will be the 3rd stage, before the pushing, when you dilate from 7-10 and the contractions are more frequent and last longer that I will give in. And I'm okay with that, I don't need to be a hero and no one is going to care if I don't use drugs. Plus they say it helps you keep your strength for the pushing because you aren't so exhausted from the pain. I figure #2 or #3 down the road, maybe consider going without, but for the first birth, which can take 12+ hours, I am definitely not opposed :)

My other fear is not labor itself, but it is the baby that comes out afterwords. It is the first 6-8 weeks that I worry about taking care of this tiny little being. A being that has very little concept of anything other than eating, pooing and sleeping. I have been around newborns enough to know that they are so hard to figure out what they need and there is no way to really communicate with them. I worry that our baby will cry incessantly and I won't know what to do. I worry that I will have trouble breast-feeding and I really want to only use breast milk for at least 6 mos, if not a year. I worry that baby will cry incessantly and I won't get any sleep and I'm not sure how long I can go without sleep since I'm such a sleep-aholic. I am sure these fears are normal and deep down, I know I will be fine...John and I will figure it out and he is going to be such a big help, I don't know what I would do without him. I am sure a lot of it is instinct too and when it's your own child, hopefully I'll feel more in tuned. And if all else fails, they don't stay that small that long and it won't be too long before the baby is able to communicate a little more. I think of Laurie's baby...she cried a lot the first 2 months, but now, even at just 3-4 months, she is the happiest little baby, always smiling and cooing. Even when she's sick, which is a lot, she is so happy.

Sooooo...are we ready? Getting there! Time is moving fast, we are less than 11 weeks which seems very close and time is moving faster. I think January we will pull the nursery/house together and I will hopefully have gotten through my "baby's first year" books (oh baby is kicking right now, maybe giving me a little reassurance?!).

And, I am getting bigger and my weight continues to climb. I fully expect to be reprimanded at Tuesday's appointment. My feet and hands continue to swell, I saw my feet looked like balloons the other night after going shopping for an hour. But otherwise, all is well.

Getting Bigger

Mon, 04 Dec 2006 23:52:06 GMT

So I had my monthly OB appointment today. Everything went fine, baby is doing great. Heartbeat is back in the 150's. Took blood for the glucose test and then there was the scale....Oy, that was the one bummer. As I suspected, I have put on about 20 lbs since I got PG. Looking at numbers on the scale that I've never seen on me before is a little scary, but I know it's supposed to happen. All told, the "average" pregnancy is supposed to add 25-35 lbs. So considering I still have 3 months to go, it is likely I will reach and most likely exceed the max "average." Most friends I've talked to about the weight say no one only gains 35 lbs and I shouldn't worry about it. And my dr was pretty okay about it, but she did grill me a bit about the foods I'm eating and encouraged me to eat more fruits and vegetables for my snacks instead of the junk I fill up on at work. At least I got brownie points for still exercising, but I guess it's not enough to counteract the weight gain. It is hard with the holidays...Halloween, Thanksgiving and now X-Mas time...there are always a lot of treats and temptations. And I'm so darn hungry all the time. I am going to try harder and incorporate more veggies in my diet, especially for dinner. Everyone knows being PG is the time to splurge, but I have to be careful. Don't want to get FAT and don't want to hurt the baby.

On the plus side, I won Fantasy Football again this week, which keeps me in first place out of 12 teams (10-4). Looks like I will likely win regular season for the league, which only entitles me to the glory to say that I won (no $$$, unfortunately). Hey, considering this is my first year to run a team, that's pretty good. If I had been in my dad's league (8 Balls), I'm pretty sure I would have done pretty well because I drafted a killer team for my cousin Deb who missed draft day. Ah well. Tomorrow going to Bingo with some friends, hopefully I'll win some money and that will make me feel better :)

Belly Pics

Sun, 03 Dec 2006 17:12:05 GMT

Pic from Thanksgiving, 26 weeks:

Pick from Week 25:

I know these are outdated, promise to get John to take some updated pics this week, as I hit Week 28 - beginning of the third trimester!

Baby Status

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 21:17:18 GMT

I am trying to upload my most recent belly picture from last week, but Livejournal is misbehaving and not allowing me to. You'll have to settle for my baby ticker status and I will try again tomorrow!